In the wake of U.S. oil barons holding petroleum, and Americans hostage, General Motors has come up with a diversionary tactic meant to recharge the Republican Party, and revive a sagging economy. Through the graciousness of their hearts, the moguls at GM have agreed to reduce the price of gasoline to $1.99! At the time of this writing, the national average for a gallon of regular gasoline (87 grade) is roughly $2.95 based on AAA reports. The "savings" that GM offers is almost $1.00 per gallon. What a bargain!
"What's the catch?" you may ask. Good question! The catch is that the deal is offered only in California and Florida. two of the largest states in the Union, and both Republican strongholds for the moment. There is another major catch...
One hitch to the promotion is that customers must also agree to enroll in the OnStar vehicle diagnostic service, which is free for the first year but after that will cost $16.95 a month. The other is that many of the eligible vehicles are serious gas guzzlers. The offer is only good for 2006 and 2007 model year vehicles.
In California, eligible vehicles are the Chevrolet Tahoe and Suburban sport utility vehicles and Impala and Monte Carlo sedans; the GMC Yukon and Yukon XL SUVs; the Hummer H2 and H3 SUVs; the Cadillac SRX SUV; and the Pontiac Grand Prix and Buick LaCrosse sedans.
In Florida, eligible vehicles are the Impala, Monte Carlo, Grand Prix and LaCrosse.Customers must buy or lease an eligible vehicle between May 25 and July 5 and enroll in the OnStar diagnostic service, which automatically runs checks on the vehicle and sends e-mail notices to owners each month.
Great! I'm getting bent over in Anytown, USA for gas to get to work, and they're offering deals to CA and FLA residents who purchase new vehicles and allow Big Brother into their lives. What the.....??
Each month for one year, GM will give drivers a credit on a prepaid card based on their estimated fuel usage. Fuel usage will be calculated by the miles they drive, as recorded by OnStar, and the vehicle's fuel economy rating. GM will credit drivers the difference between the average price per gallon in their state and the $1.99 cap. The credits can be used through December 2007. Consumers wouldn't get any credits if gas prices fall below $1.99.
Great, so now Big Brother knows where I am, and once a month for a year, GM will issue me credit on what they estimate my milage usage to be...What a bargain!
When GM says it will "cap" gas prices at $1.99/gal we wonder if it's vernacular trickery for "We'll give wealthy Republicans an incentive to buy gas-guzzling vehicles as opposed to investigating alternative fuels, or alternative fuel sorces."
